Christmas - Ohhhh

But seriously - we are creeping up on Christmas - less than 2 months away, and I again can feel the anxiety starting to build.  It is there in the pit of my stomach, making me not want to do Christmas again.  Why do I do that?  I remember all those years ago that I started this blog, it was just before Christmas, I was having anxiety attacks and feeling really depressed about Christmas.  I started Walk the Creek to help me talk my way through the Christmas anxiety, and to give myself an outlet.  Crazy how I am coming round to that again, some ten years later. 

Someone at work mentions how many Saturdays til Christmas; someone on Facebook has the nerve to post how excited they are for how many days til Christmas; someone in my house has the audacity to start watching Christmas movies, and ask where the Christmas tree is going to go this year; someone else has the audacity to ask what we do for Christmas every year, and I just want to say "survive", but I politely go on to tell them our weak traditions, hoping they will sound great!  Yes that is where I am at right now.  I start thinking of the list of things I want to do, or need to do, and the list of gifts I think they all might want or need, and pit in my stomach starts punching me from the inside out.  Why????  I really don't know.

I think each year that I want to buy less, or stress less, or focus more on the true meaning, but then as it comes closer, I start to think, I still need to buy everyone something, I still want to give them memory making opportunities, and I stress again.  Oh I don't love it at all...........

What am I going to do this year to make it different?  I have no freakin idea!  Stay tuned and see how it all turns out!.......