Thursday, November 13, 2014

Thinking Barriers

It is amazing what just the right little thing we read can do for us!  I was reading this little short book - in fact it is just a little pdf file that I downloaded - and you can find it here if you want to read it.  It is called How to Think Sideways  It's even free! It isn't much, in fact it is just a teaser to the courses that she offers on her site   and I am not promoting her courses, because I haven't taken them, they are focused on better writing, and they look like they would be great courses, but what I did love, was what she gets right into:

There are four thinking barriers that we need to overcome:

SAFE never starts,
PERFECT never finishes,
VICTIM never acts,
FEEL never thinks.

In this little pdf, she doesn't go into great detail on these barriers, it is all a part of her course she is promoting, but I want to apply these barriers to life instead of writing - for they are really barriers that we all face in life.  Perhaps at some time or another, we even may have to deal with some of these barriers that we don't even realize yet. Whether it is job related, marriage, abuse, other relationship, financial, depression, mental illness, or whatever it is that you are facing, hopefully you can find some strength in these few little words.

I do like to feel safe, in fact so much so that I am ALWAYS starting new projects, business ideas, blogs, etc and I never really take them past the stage of where I feel safe.  My business ideas never get off the ground, even though they are good ones, even though I may have done up a whole business plan, regardless of how much I have put into them, I always come to the point where I have to take that next step and push myself just a little bit out of the safe zone, and I stop!  Then I wait until the next brilliant idea comes along and I move onto it!  Safe isn't helping me!  Safe is keeping me locked up inside of my own little world and not allowing my inner me to explode!  Why do I do this?  Because it is my comfort zone, and I need to find within myself that desire to succeed at my task that is stronger than my desire to be safe.  I know I can do it, but there is that safety zone............always there.  So I push a little more each day to stretch the border of the zone out just a little bit further.  It is my way of growing!

I am not a perfectionist - or at least I don't think I am - until I am tasked with a project and I can't relax until I have given it my all.  I know inside of me that nothing will ever be perfect, but I have to give it 110% or it isn't good enough, at least most of the time, wink, wink. I think it is a good think to always be trying to do your best, but yet realizing that there is no such thing as perfect, at least not in this life as we know it, there is only doing  your best.

I understand why the victim never acts.  It is really hard to put yourself out there where you feel like you might end up being the victim again.  Being a victim is not fun.  It hurts, and it sucks - plain and simple.  But if we don't keep pushing ourselves, how will we ever find the point where we conquer being the victim and start being the victor?  I have some barriers to overcome in this one as well.  I recall a few different times in life where someone has made me feel less than good - in fact down right horrible!  Instead of pushing through these kind of situations and trying to solve problems, I just tell myself that I will never do anything that will allow myself to be in a situation where something like that might happen again.  Now there are smart points to this kind of argument, and it entirely depends on the situation, because if it is a situation where you may be abused in any way, then stay away from it.  It isn't worth it.  But if it is a situation where you could become the victor and push through to success - then push through!  We often are not the victim as much as we originally thought.  Conquer those fears and become the victor, instead of letting the fears conquer us and staying a victim to our fears.

FEEL never thinks!  Wow, what a concept!  Guilty as charged!  I am definitely one that thinks with my emotions, and through the years, I am learning to slow down and think things through.  It has taken me six children, and six siblings of my own, and 50 years of learning, to realize that there are solutions to most of our challenges and questions, if we just slow down and think them through.  It is way too easy to let our emotions get the most of us, we start crying, ranting, and freaking out over things.  We can't seem to find that light at the end of the tunnel because we can't even see the tunnel, it is all black everywhere!  Slow down and start to think things through, and sure enough answers will start to manifest themselves.  Sometimes these answers might come through inspiration, through other people, or totally unexpected ways, but they are always there if we are willing to think things through.

I have been thinking much lately about life - you know because I am 50 now - and reality is finally settling in that I need a better focus on a few things.  I am searching for some answers that I need, but I don't want to go into detail on these right now, but I am loving the results of where my research is taking me.  I kind of hit a brick wall a couple of months ago. I stopped writing on my blogs and on my books.  I stopped having hope that things would change or get better - you know that stuck syndrome that this is life and I just have to deal with it!  I seriously felt like life had come to a screeching halt, and I went immediately into survivor mode!  Not a good place to be!  You know that place where you just go through the motions and do what you have to do because you think there is no other options?  You know that place where you feel like a robot that just is on help mode and your whole life is there to serve others, never mind that perhaps you might actually want to enjoy it, because of course robots have no capacity to feel joy, they are just there to serve and do?  Ya well, this was the kind of brick wall I hit. Not a great place to be.  This has led me to some serious reflection, so now begins the new journey to push beyond my safety net, to quit trying to make everything perfect, just get it done the best I can, to quit allowing myself to fall victim to my insecurities, and to really start thinking through things because there is always a solution, I just have to find it.


Quit worrying so much about SAFE, instead get STARTed,
Quit caring so much about whether or not something is PERFECT just get moving to do your BEST,
Quit creating myself as the VICTIM and start seeing myself as the VICTOR - I can conquer
Quit letting my emotions get in the way of getting things done - start THINKing and less FEELing


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