I Am There

Life falls apart.  It really does.  Some days, it is all we can do to get through.  Some days, our prayers to Someone much larger than us, are simply thus:  "Help me get through one more day today, please."  I am there. 

I know I shouldn't be there, but I keenly feel like my life is spiraling.  I am there.  I just need to get through one day at a time, and maybe some day soon, I can get through two days at a time.  I am there. 

I had really hoped that by now in my life, things would have smoothed out just a bit.  I have walked up and down this same old creek many times, the same old trial, the same old rocks and rapids, and I am there again. What do I do?  I get through one day at a time. 

Yes, this is my place to rant, where nobody can hear me, or see me.  It is all mine - my Walk The Creek.  It is my creek, my place to be, say, and do what I want.  I feel sad today.  I feel very much alone.  I wonder sometimes if my prayers are answered - yet I know they are.  I am there.

I feel like my toe is stuck under a rock, with the icy cold water rushing over my foot.  The rock is sharp and cutting.  It is too heavy to move myself.  Thank goodness the water is only knee deep, or I would be in serious trouble.  Thank goodness there isn't a tide, for it is just a creek.  I know at the end of each day, I will be alive, but it still hurts.  I am still stuck without knowing how to get out.  I am there.

I put a smile on my face, as I can.  Sometimes I just need to be alone - because I can't smile.  I know people around me, love me, but sometimes I don't care.  I am there.

Yes it sounds depressing, and serious, and I guess it is.  I know I will get through, because I have many, many times before - one day at a time.  One prayer at a time.  One shove of that rock.  One more step on the next slimy rock.  One more fight against that rapid.  One more....   I am there. 

Yes, I am there.  I will survive, but it hurts, and I question why, and I wonder if it will ever change, and I sigh...........  I am there.